


Nightmares

by teenunicorn



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Fluff, Gore, M/M, Oneshot, but it doesn't really happen in the actual events of the fic - just in a dream, sexual content - not explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 02:30:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8648299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenunicorn/pseuds/teenunicorn
Summary: Written for the prompt "Imagine Person A keeps having nightmares about Person B. They don’t know what disturbs them more— how scary the dreams are, or how arousing they are."And then things just sort of spiral out from there.





	

_Where is it?_ Shinji wondered, searching the sky anxiously. Unit 02, piloted by Nagisa-kun, who had just arrived yesterday, was poised at the ready to his right side. Shinji's hands gripped controls of Unit 01 in his hands, waiting, watching for the angel to attack, the anticipation forming sweat on his neck under plastic material of the plugsuit. He let go of the right controller for just a second to readjust the collar, his finger stretching the plugsuit's neckline as far away from him as it could go when- 

"Ahhhhhh!" he screamed as Nagisa-kun was knocked into him by a sudden explosion, the blast throwing both of them into the air. The screen in front of him suddenly went red as the umbilical cable was knocked off of his unit, triggering the countdown of five minutes.

"Shinji-kun! Kaworu-kun!" Misato yelled over the PA. "What the hell just happened?"

Shinji's eyes searched wildly through the crimson field of vision afforded to him by the eva, the adrenaline from Misato's yelling and the umbilical cord alarm sounding muddying his judgment. His unit was pinned to the ground by Unit 02, and the other EVA's arm was blocking half of his view. Suddenly, a giant black monster emerged into view, stabbing through both Unit 02's body and 01's with one arm.

Nagisa-kun and Shinji cried out in pain simultaneously, Shinji's hand reaching instinctively for his thigh and Nagisa his abdomen. The angel with two ribbons stabbed repeatedly into Unit 02's face, Nagisa-kun every time clutching his right eye harder and harder as strangled whines escaped him, the sight of him twisted in pain too much for Shinji to bear as he scrunched himself as small as he could make himself, in the fetal position with his hands over his ears so he couldn't hear Nagisa-kun over the radio.

"Shinji-kun!!-" Nagisa-kun cried out suddenly, and just as Shinji looked up at the holographic monitor, it went to static, but he just managed to glimpse the final frame that went through: Nagisa Kaworu being dragged from the entry plug, yanked out by the monster. Shinji's gaze whipped toward the sky, trying see the monster when it suddenly rose above him, a black monolith dangling a tiny, struggling figure above its head as its great jaw cracked open, snakelike tongue greedily licking its lips before widening its maw. Shinji was frozen in fear, useless in the deadened EVA, stuck in horror watching the giant drop the tiny figure of Nagisa-kun into its mouth with a _crrruuUNNCC **CHHH**_ -

"Kaworu!" Shinji screamed as he shot out of bed, grimacing as he felt sweat run down his forehead, torso, back, and neck. It was cold, and he shivered at both the icy sweat's descent and his memories of the nightmare. And yet, there was some _lower_ part of him that was unbearably, painfully hot and pulsing.

Shinji sighed, and with a groan, fell back onto his damp pillow. _I must be hopelessly fucked up_ , he thought as he exchanged the damp pillow for drier one he had underneath it. _Who wakes up from a nightmare about a person that they just met only to find out that they have a boner?_

Just as he was reprimanding himself, though, a stray hand wandered under the waistband of his boxers...

~~~

As he sat in the back of math class, Shinji rubbed his eyes with both of his hands, nearly grinding his fists into his eye sockets in an effort use the pain to shock himself awake. Four days had passed since that initial nightmare, and every night since, he'd have nightmares of just that horrible crunching noise - the meeting of gnashing teeth and slender human bone - played on repeat until he woke up in a cold sweat and with an incredibly ornery case of morning - or midnight? - wood. If he tried to ignore it, everything got unbearably hot and even his loosest boxers felt as restricting as a Victorian-era corset. But once he indulged, he inevitably saw flashes of Kaworu smiling at him, or Kaworu touching his hand or shoulder, or even glimpses of Kaworu undressing after testing at NERV, in his mind's eye - sure signs that he was absolutely a fucked-up, perverted mess.

 _Am I just the kind of person who is just so miserable they get off on other people's deaths?_ he continued thinking to himself. _I don't even know Nagisa-kun very well...and nothing about his death itself is particularly_ arousing _to me, yet this keeps on happening, and if it doesn't stop soon, I'm going to simply fall asleep in class-_

"Ikari-kun? Ikari-kun?" Someone - definitely male - was saying his name, and a gentle hand was gingerly shaking his shoulder. "Ikari-kun, are you all right?"

"Hmm?" Shinji finally replied, opening the eyes he didn't know he'd closed as he realized that he'd cradled his head in his arms. His vision was blurry from sleep and tiredness, and he rubbed his eyes. "Where am I? What time is it?"

"School just ended, though math was our last class. The teacher was worried about you, but thought it would be best if you slept it off. After all, you have seemed...somewhat out of it these past few days."

 _I'll bet that they probably just didn't care to wake me up enough...that making an example of me to the rest of the class was a lost cause because I'm already that much of a joke_ , Shinji's anxious ramblings went on in his mind as he finally managed to regain his eyesight. As he blinked in the bright light of the classroom, at slender figure with ruby-red eyes and fluffy white hair came into focus.

"N-na-nagisa-kun?!" Shinji stammered out. "Oh, you didn't have to wake me up! Wouldn't you have missed your bus or-r your train?"

"I actually walk home most days, because I enjoy the exercise and the view, but thank you for your concern," Nagisa-kun replied gracefully with a small bow of his head. "I don't think I've ever properly, or personally, introduced myself. I'm Nagisa Kaworu, the fifth child. Pleased to meet your acquaintance!" He bowed his head again.

"Oh-oh that's quite alright! I mean, I'm Ikari Shinji, and it's very nice to meet you too, Nagisa-kun!" Shinji rushed his words off his tongue so quickly, he thought he might suffocate himself, a deep crimson flush rising to his cheeks as he remembered his nighttime activities for the past half a week.

The pale boy in front of him smiled. Shinji couldn't figure out why a near-stranger had stayed after school just to wake him up, and as he looked at him longer, the _prettiness_ of this boy in front of him started to dawn on him. _Just how could a beautiful person such as this want anything to do with an awful, disgusting pervert like me?_ he thought as his heart sank like the Titanic: slowly at first, then all at once, gone for forever underneath the Atlantic.

"You can just call me Kaworu-kun if you'd like," the smiley boy in front of him said.

 _No, don't smile at me, you don't know what I've done, what I'm capable of_ , Shinji continued to think. "Th-then call me Shinji-kun!" he stammered.

"I'd like that very much," Kaworu-kun said with another one of his toothpaste-commercial smiles, teeth straight and pearly white. Everything from his high cheekbones to the line of his jaw gave Shinji an ache that he was now painfully familiar with.

"Why-why are you still here? You don't have to, you know. You might be late for dinner!" Shinji suddenly blurted out, sure that the boy in front of him was only standing around him and giving him playful - almost _flirtatious_ (although it could've just been his surely dirty imagination) - grins in order to be nice to him. _They always leave in the end, anyway_ , Shinji thought bitterly to himself.

The pretty boy's eyes widened, and guiltily, Shinji thought he saw hurt or surprise - probably both - in those gorgeous red eyes. "I wanted to be here," he stated plainly, as if that was all the reason he needed. "And we're both pilots," he continued, "and you've been the only male pilot besides..." he trailed off, afraid to mention Touji-kun, as he was still in the hospital in a coma. "...and I thought we should just get to know each other a little better! Would you like to come over to my place this evening?"

Even though Shinji hardly understood people, he thought he felt a little bit of Kaworu-kun holding himself back, although that seemed absolutely contrary to the rest of his character. After all, who would just tell someone that they outright just wanted to be there...with the implication that they wanted to bet there with _you_?

 _Stop this madness,_ Shinji scolded himself. _You're just reading your own disgusting agenda into a person you just met!_ But even so, he found himself replying, "Yes," and nodding when Kaworu-kun suggested 6 o'clock.

"Great, I'll see you there!" Kaworu beamed at him, as he headed for the door of the classroom.

"Wait, where do you live?!" Shinji shouted after him. Kaworu spun wildly around to meet him, and this time, it was the pale boy's turn to blush.

"It's scribbled in your math notebook," he said shyly, or, well, as shyly as you could be when you're Nagisa Kaworu.

Shinji turned to the notebook that still lay flat open on his desk, and sure enough - in the neatest, most elegant scribble-handwriting he had ever witnessed in his life - was written an address.

 _Is there anything that this boy isn't good at? Appearance, handwriting, speaking..?_ "Th-thanks! I'll see you soon, then!" Shinji replied, blushing once more.

~~~

It was nearing 5:50 pm when Shinji's anxiety decided to take the turn for the worst.

 _What if he just gave me a fake address in order to pull a prank on me? What if he isn't there when I get there? What if he just wants to be mean to me? Or worse, what if he can tell what I've been dreaming about every single night?_ Shinji shuddered at the thought, remembering the intimate way with which Kaworu-kun could hold a gaze. _Or worse...what if I get an erection at his house!_

Misato wasn't having any of it though because Shinji made the mistake - or glorious choice - of telling her about his new potential friend. She took it upon herself to find a map of the city and find a route to his home, as well as to drive Shinji there herself.

"But Misato-san!" Shinji protested, even as they were in the car.

"Shinji-kun, this would be a great opportunity for you to relax! There haven't been any angel attacks in the past month, and you deserve a break, and to maybe make some normal friends! After all, you'll be seeing Kaworu-kun a lot in the near future, so you might as well have something to look forward to at NERV other than synch testing and pilot training!"

"But Misato-"

"No buts! And look, we're already here," she said as they pulled up to an apartment complex, and Shinji instantly recognized it as the same one that Rei lived in. He just hadn't recognized the address before now.

"Can I trust you to go up the elevator or the stairs, and not to just run away?" Misato nagged as she rolled down the car window, Shinji standing on the curb.

"Yes, ma'am." Shinji replied subserviently, guessing that if he'd made it all the way here, he might as well go inside.

"Good. Have a good time, and let me know when to pick you up!" she said cheerfully as she waved goodbye, speeding off in her car.

Shinji coughed a little from the fumes that the car emitted, and then made his way up the stairs, delaying the time when he would have to knock on Kaworu's apartment door.

He eventually made it there, though, and knocked gingerly on the door once, twice, three times-

Just as he was about to knock on it for the fourth time, it swung open, with a slightly frazzled but still-smiling Kaworu behind it. "Come in, come in!" he said excitedly. "It's really great to see you, Shinji-kun!"

"It's nice to see you too," Shinji replied shyly, walking in through the open doorway. The apartment was small but well-kept, and there were two plates of steaming curry on a small wooden table.

"Have you eaten?" the pale boy asked eagerly. "It's just instant, not much, but it's food."

Just then, Shinji's stomach let out an absurdly loud growl. Kaworu-kun chuckled and pulled out a chair for Shinji. Shinji, blushing from the tips of his ears to his neck, sat down, bewildered by Kaworu's behavior. Kaworu sat directly across from him, and started picking at the food. Shinji picked up his chopsticks and noted, with some amusement, that while Kaworu's cooking skills surpassed those of Misato-san, they still left something to be desired. _So there is something that he isn't good at,_ Shinji thought as he ate the food, smiling to himself.

"Come on, I know it's not that good!" Kaworu said candidly, with a playful smile across his lips. "Why are you smiling so much? You've hardly smiled in the past week!"

Shinji was taken aback. _He notices how much I **smile**?_ he thought to himself. He coughed a little bit, and then swallowed, trying to find his words.

"Sorry," Kaworu finally said in between bites of curry. "Was I being too forward?"

"Ummm-no, sorry, it's okay! It's just - maybe I'm just out of practice with speaking to people. I've been in Tokyo-2 for at least a year now, but hardly anyone ever speaks to me unless they have to, so..." Shinji trailed off. _What makes you think that you can just say all of this to a complete stranger?!_ his anxiety warned him. _But he's not just a complete stranger,_ Shinji protested silently. Yet another part of him whispered, _See? You are going crazy, talking to yourself so much!_

For once, the pale boy seemed to be without words on hand, slowly chewing his rice and curry while thinking to himself, then swallowing. "That sounds rather lonely," he began, his voice softer than before. "Are you okay?"

Now it was Shinji's turn to be stunned. No one had really checked in on him about his feelings in the months he'd spent as a pilot - and if they did, it was more about his physical condition than anything. _Don't you **dare** say anything, you could give yourself away and he will hate you forever!_ Yet, he found himself responding, "Yeah-I think I'm probably okay. It has been really lonely, but I like being here - well, I mean - I don't feel as lonely around you, Kaworu-kun!"

Kaworu smiled in surprise and what looked like pure joy. "I'm very glad, I am so very glad, Ikari Shinji-kun," he mused with a smile as he dug into the rest of the curry.

And for the first time in what may have been his life, Shinji sat in the happy, contented silence that they shared between him, and his anxiety, while still there, actually decided to leave him alone for just that little bit while they finished dinner.

~~~

A car horn honked outside of the apartment building. Shinji couldn't believe that his time with Kaworu had rushed by that quickly - between cleaning up their dishes, talking about classes, piloting, and even a little bit about life, about Kaworu's philosophy and the strange - but nice! - ideas he had about people. It had ended far too soon. It was weird - but in a good sort of way - that Kaworu seemed so familiar to him even though they had just met, like they had known each other for much longer than an afternoon.

"I believe this is goodbye," Kaworu said wistfully, as if he felt the same pressure of time and the same sadness Shinji felt in the anticipation of leaving.

"Yeah," Shinji agreed with a small nod. "Kaworu-kun, can I ask you something?"

"Yes, of course!"

Shinji took a deep breath. "C-could there ever be anything about me, like something that you don't know, that would make you hate me?" he asked in a blur.

Kaworu's eyes blurred a little bit, and Shinji thought that he glimpsed the shine of a tear in them, but Kaworu blinked it quickly away. "Shinji-kun, I don't think anything could ever make me hate you." he said quietly.

"Th-thank you for telling me!" Shinji said with relief. He heard the car horn honking incessantly outside once more. "Kaworu-kun, would it be okay if I came over again tomorrow, at the same time?"

This time, all traces of sadness left Kaworu's face. "It would be my honor to have you over!" he beamed. "So, only goodbye for now?" he asked with a grin, holding out his hand.

"Just for now," Shinji agreed, shaking Kaworu's hand, just as Misato's car horn blared once more.

~~~

That night, for the first night in a while, Shinji slept soundly, no nightmares at all...

**Author's Note:**

> I personally love thinking of Shinji as an anxious mess because I can relate so very well. This was written as sort of therapy for my own anxiety, and such, may be a bit OOC. I also just wanted to have a little fun during the Thanksgiving break before I have to go back to college, so I didn't have as much of a liberty of reviewing my knowledge of canon. I also haven't written fanfic in ages and thought that assigning myself a bit of an action scene would be a nice break from both the literary essays I had to do senior year and the philosophy/technical papers/CS programs that I'm writing for school currently.
> 
> I'm not exactly sure which universe this is supposed to take place in because Kaworu's never there long enough for Shinji to go to sleep four times, so let's just call it the AU-where-Shinji-doesn't-have-to-kill-Kaworu-quite-yet.
> 
> Also, only lightly proofread, but I was happy enough with it to just upload it as my first fic on AO3.


End file.
